the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i drank out of a bidet.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
