Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
