Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Randomize