ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
