this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
