The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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