i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Come on in and take your pants off
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