remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
