hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
