so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize