I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
