I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
