Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
