I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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