One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She told me I should be a condom model.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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