The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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