So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
