she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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