what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Your penis caused this!
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