Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
