anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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