I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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