nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
