Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize