I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
