Pappa wants mamma naked
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
