This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize