was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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