Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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