This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
