New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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