When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
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