i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
