U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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