you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
