Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
