That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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