my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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