i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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