i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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