At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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