she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
