Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
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