I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
