He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
