it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm way too hungover for life right now
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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