i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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