is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
