I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
