I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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