My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
