C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize