Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
