Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
pop tarts are not kleenex
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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