I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
