I didn't shave. On purpose
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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