i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
