question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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