Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize